[Nothing better happen. But he does hang up and he's on a one man mission to get his ass back to the hotel. First to check on his friend and then he'll decide what he does from there.]
[ nothing does happen, thankfully. except for rain being left alone with his thoughts and worries about both what happened and what sky'll say when they finally see each other. it makes the trip back to the hotel feel so much longer than it really is, but also far too short.
rain doesn't even wait until he's in his room to send sky a quick 'i'm here' text. the moment he stepped inside the hotel, the text was sent.
is it wrong to hope that maybe sky isn't here yet? ]
[Not only is Sky there but he doesn't even bother to knock like he usually does when he crosses the hall and walks right in. The very first thing he does? Make sure that Rain is physically alright. Is he hurt? Is he sick?
No?
Well then...]
Full story. Now.
[Going over to the couch, he sits down and crosses his arm to wait for the story.]
[ rain opens his mouth to greet sky when he walks in but... maybe not. maybe that's not really what he should be doing right now.
instead, he quietly follows sky over to the couch, though he doesn't sit down. rather, he stands in front of sky and takes a few deep breaths. he's also making a point of looking anywhere other than his best friend.
sky will still love him, no matter what, right? they'll still be friends? ]
Um, so, uh...
[ it was so much easier to just blurt it out when it was a faceless phone conversation and he hadn't had more time to think about it. it was much easier to say when sky wasn't looking at him like that ]
So I went to this bar in Gion. It was, um, I heard a few people mention it so I went. I ran into someone there that I'd met before. [ he'd like to leave simon's name out of this for now, if he can ] We started drinking and got pretty drunk. The, um, the bar has some private rooms and we sorta decided to go to one. Then suddenly Simon [ oops ] had me pinned up against a wall and he was kissing my neck and I think I really liked it. [ he seems especially distraught with that admission ] And his hands were all over me and we were making out and I really liked that too. [ the distress in his voice is increasing with each passing detail and the further realization of just how much he actually enjoyed the night ]
And then our clothes were off and- Sky I had sex with him. I wanted to. I asked him to.
[ was simon the one who brought it up? was rain? he can't remember now. it doesn't matter. he wanted it ]
[The more he listens the less happy he gets. He does actually know Simon so he's not happy with him either. It looks like he's chewing on something particularly unpleasant with the way his jaw moves from side to side. Soon his fingers are tapping on his arms which he hasn't uncrossed.
Loyalty is something that Sky values highly. Because after what he's been through... He knows he shouldn't push his own issues onto Rain like this but it's so damn hard not to. Especially when he knows how hard his friend worked to get the amazing boyfriend he has. The one he never shuts up about. Perfect P'Payu, handsome P'Payu, wonderful P'Payu...]
You went to a bar and got drunk. By yourself when you've barely touched alcohol because you're barely drinking age. You then decided to go to a private room with someone you barely know and you had sex with him.
[Even him sleeping with Prapai to escape the race that one night doesn't compare to this.
Sky leans forward and finally uncrosses his arms as he points at him.]
Did you forget you have a boyfriend that you fought to get? Did you think about P'Payu at all, Rain?
[ rain looks down at the floor when sky starts to speak, wincing with every detail he recounts back to him. that is basically how the night went, yeah. rain bits the tip of his thumb, glancing at sky only occasionally. it's hard to look at him. it's hard to even listen to him, but he's making himself do at least that much. he didn't initially text sky just to tell him about the hot sex he had probably less than twelve hours ago. he texted him to tell him about the mistake he made. with mistakes come consequences, especially from sky.
that's what he came to sky for. consequences ]
I didn't go there to drink! I went there to- [ it doesn't matter rain. the reason why he went there in the first place doesn't matter. it's the fact that he went there and everything that happened because of it that matters ]
I didn't. [ he says it quietly, eyes still downcast, still unable to look at his friend. 'i didn't forget about my boyfriend' but also 'i didn't think of him' ] I didn't think of of P'Payu even once last night. I didn't think about anything except what I wanted. And I only wanted Simon last night...
[ the fact that he has a boyfriend didn't even cross his mind ]
[The more he hears the more he hates it. Because the more it triggers his reflex of this being a betrayal even if it isn't one where he's been betrayed. But Payu is someone who has really had his back in the past and he knows how hard Rain fought to have him. So to hear this.
[ rain blinks, then shakes his head quickly and insistently. from 'what am i supposed to do now, sky?' to 'but i don't want to do that though'. he was more looking for a way to make things right and less for a punishment, though truth be told, he does want that too. he deserves it. maybe it'll make him feel a little less guilty about what he did.
first one, then the other? ]
Wait, no. I didn't even really realize what I was doing at the time. I just sorta got caught up in the drinking and Simon's mouth and his tongue and the way he felt- [ rain presses his lips together tightly as his eyes widen.
in hopes just sort of moving past what he almost said, rain slowly gets down onto his knees ] ...what now?
[He points right at him when he starts trying to explain himself again.]
You are not helping yourself by telling me how amazing he was when you have a boyfriend that you fought to get. You even gave up on your crush to be with him.
[He sits back and crosses his arms, rolling his jaw as he frowns down at him.]
Drinking yourself stupid doesn't mean you were suddenly less stupid, Rain. You betrayed P'Payu. And he's not even here. I thought that you were better than this.
He was great and he made me feel really good but nothing like P'Payu. I love P'Payu and I did fight hard to get him and I don't want to lose him but it's not like I can go back and un-sleep with Simon! [ he sighs. everything is so screwed up now and it's confusing. he knows he made a mistake but he's not sure how he made the mistake ] I don't think I never liked Ple the way I did - and do - with P'payu. [ he's not sure he'd ever been so singularly focused on anything in his life as his pursuit of payu.
rain climbs back to his feet and takes a few steps toward sky ]
I am better than that, Sky. I swear I am. I... I didn't mean to betray P'Payu.
[ the moment sky points to the floor, rain drops back down onto his knees. he still tries to walk forward on his knees though, trying to make his way closer to his friend ]
[He knows that Rain knows this position. He's put him in it before when Rain gave Prapai his phone number. And he's going to make sure he stays in this position for awhile too.]
[Sky points right at the spot that Rain is at to make him stop moving closer. Then he lets out a sigh and rolls his neck before crossing his arms again.]
Why should I forgive you? I'm not your boyfriend or your mother.
[He lets out a sigh and frowns at him. Why is he so mad at him? What kind of stupid question is that? One that Rain would ask of course. He should expect that.]
[ rain huffs and puts his hands back up. payu should be the one who's mad at him, not sky, right? he'd even accept simon being mad at him, but he can't quite understand sky's anger ]
Then stay like that awhile. You want him so badly so you can prove that you do.
[For a moment, Sky falls quiet. He can't even look at Rain. But when he speaks up again, his voice is quiet. Is there a pained quality to it? Well, he's not going to admit to anything really.]
Rain, P'Payu is probably a better person than I am. I bet he'll forgive you when you tell him what happened. I don't think I ever could if you'd done this to me.
[His hand rubs his arm a moment before he stills himself, refusing to show weakness.]
You can't just go chasing after other people. Got that?
But shouldn't I be proving it to him? He's not even here... [ rain looks from one of his hands to the other and then back at sky ] My arms are already getting tired.
[ rain just watches sky, waiting for his friend to say something else, wondering if maybe he should be saying something (or will that just get him into more trouble??). he opts for silence. for once, he chooses to say nothing.
he can't help but wince, though, when sky finally speaks again, and he once again averts his eyes. he wants to say that he would never have done something like that to sky, but he also thought he'd never do anything like that to payu. payu is his perfect boyfriend. his wonderful boyfriend. the love of his life and the man he wouldn't mind being with forever. so how could he possibly say for sure that he wouldn't do the same to sky ]
You threw yourself at him and didn't even think about P'Payu.
[He looks away again. In his heart he knows this was a mistake, that Rain isn't like this. That it has to be something more. It has to right? A deep breath and he looks back to Rain.]
Don't move. Tell me exactly what happened again. From the start. And don't tell me how wonderful it was this time.
[Because it hurts feeling like he might not be able to believe in his friend. He...he can't lose that belief he has.]
[ throw himself at simon. but that's not what sky wants to hear. especially because, from an outside perspective, it probably looks exactly that way. it probably looks just like he selfishly threw himself at simon with no thought for anyone else he might hurt in the process. that isn't what it was, though. rain is certain of it. it just sort of... happened. no throwing at all ]
When can I put my arms down? [ less important. but his arms are already starting to ache and his knees hurt ]
Okay, so I heard about this bar in Gion - some uki bar or something - and I decided to go because I figured if we might be here a while, it'd probably be worth it to see what there is to do here right? I thought maybe I could meet some people too. I thought you might not hate it if I made a few new friends. [ maybe not the time for a mild dig at his friend ] I didn't really intend on drinking at all, but the beers just looked really good so I decided to get one. And then more than one. I ran into Simon there and because he was the only one I knew, I started talking to him. After a while, we ended up in one of those private rooms. I didn't chase him and he didn't chase me. We just... We ended up in a private room together and, well, you know the rest.
[So definitely not yet. He chews on nothing really but maybe it's just the information. Still, he listens to all of it and he notes something important that he's missed before. Or actually he's pretty sure that Rain didn't tell him that part. But he does remember hearing about uki. It's not something he'd been familiar with so he'd looked it up and...
His eyes narrow.
Sky leans forward now. And he'll let the dig slide. For now.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[It'll give him time to figure out what he's even going to say to Rain at this point.]
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[ maybe not the best time to argue and say he's already going, right? ]
Um, I'm gonna hang up now. I'll let you know when I'm back at the hotel.
[ normally, he'd probably want to stay on the phone the whole time. normally, he'd probably be trying to convince sky not to hang up.
this is very much not normally ]
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[Nothing better happen. But he does hang up and he's on a one man mission to get his ass back to the hotel. First to check on his friend and then he'll decide what he does from there.]
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rain doesn't even wait until he's in his room to send sky a quick 'i'm here' text. the moment he stepped inside the hotel, the text was sent.
is it wrong to hope that maybe sky isn't here yet? ]
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No?
Well then...]
Full story. Now.
[Going over to the couch, he sits down and crosses his arm to wait for the story.]
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instead, he quietly follows sky over to the couch, though he doesn't sit down. rather, he stands in front of sky and takes a few deep breaths. he's also making a point of looking anywhere other than his best friend.
sky will still love him, no matter what, right? they'll still be friends? ]
Um, so, uh...
[ it was so much easier to just blurt it out when it was a faceless phone conversation and he hadn't had more time to think about it. it was much easier to say when sky wasn't looking at him like that ]
So I went to this bar in Gion. It was, um, I heard a few people mention it so I went. I ran into someone there that I'd met before. [ he'd like to leave simon's name out of this for now, if he can ] We started drinking and got pretty drunk. The, um, the bar has some private rooms and we sorta decided to go to one. Then suddenly Simon [ oops ] had me pinned up against a wall and he was kissing my neck and I think I really liked it. [ he seems especially distraught with that admission ] And his hands were all over me and we were making out and I really liked that too. [ the distress in his voice is increasing with each passing detail and the further realization of just how much he actually enjoyed the night ]
And then our clothes were off and- Sky I had sex with him. I wanted to. I asked him to.
[ was simon the one who brought it up? was rain? he can't remember now. it doesn't matter. he wanted it ]
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Loyalty is something that Sky values highly. Because after what he's been through... He knows he shouldn't push his own issues onto Rain like this but it's so damn hard not to. Especially when he knows how hard his friend worked to get the amazing boyfriend he has. The one he never shuts up about. Perfect P'Payu, handsome P'Payu, wonderful P'Payu...]
You went to a bar and got drunk. By yourself when you've barely touched alcohol because you're barely drinking age. You then decided to go to a private room with someone you barely know and you had sex with him.
[Even him sleeping with Prapai to escape the race that one night doesn't compare to this.
Sky leans forward and finally uncrosses his arms as he points at him.]
Did you forget you have a boyfriend that you fought to get? Did you think about P'Payu at all, Rain?
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that's what he came to sky for. consequences ]
I didn't go there to drink! I went there to- [ it doesn't matter rain. the reason why he went there in the first place doesn't matter. it's the fact that he went there and everything that happened because of it that matters ]
I didn't. [ he says it quietly, eyes still downcast, still unable to look at his friend. 'i didn't forget about my boyfriend' but also 'i didn't think of him' ] I didn't think of of P'Payu even once last night. I didn't think about anything except what I wanted. And I only wanted Simon last night...
[ the fact that he has a boyfriend didn't even cross his mind ]
What am I supposed to do now, Sky?
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He points to the floor.]
Knees. Now.
[They'll start with that.]
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first one, then the other? ]
Wait, no. I didn't even really realize what I was doing at the time. I just sorta got caught up in the drinking and Simon's mouth and his tongue and the way he felt- [ rain presses his lips together tightly as his eyes widen.
in hopes just sort of moving past what he almost said, rain slowly gets down onto his knees ] ...what now?
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You are not helping yourself by telling me how amazing he was when you have a boyfriend that you fought to get. You even gave up on your crush to be with him.
[He sits back and crosses his arms, rolling his jaw as he frowns down at him.]
Drinking yourself stupid doesn't mean you were suddenly less stupid, Rain. You betrayed P'Payu. And he's not even here. I thought that you were better than this.
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He was great and he made me feel really good but nothing like P'Payu. I love P'Payu and I did fight hard to get him and I don't want to lose him but it's not like I can go back and un-sleep with Simon! [ he sighs. everything is so screwed up now and it's confusing. he knows he made a mistake but he's not sure how he made the mistake ] I don't think I never liked Ple the way I did - and do - with P'payu. [ he's not sure he'd ever been so singularly focused on anything in his life as his pursuit of payu.
rain climbs back to his feet and takes a few steps toward sky ]
I am better than that, Sky. I swear I am. I... I didn't mean to betray P'Payu.
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Knees. Now.
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Sky please. Sky, what should I do? [ what else? ]
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[He knows that Rain knows this position. He's put him in it before when Rain gave Prapai his phone number. And he's going to make sure he stays in this position for awhile too.]
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Sky please, I'm sorry. I screwed up. I was wrong. Please forgive me!
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[Sky points right at the spot that Rain is at to make him stop moving closer. Then he lets out a sigh and rolls his neck before crossing his arms again.]
Why should I forgive you? I'm not your boyfriend or your mother.
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then his brows furrow and his frown deepens and he drops his hands without thinking ]
Then why are you so mad at me?!
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[He lets out a sigh and frowns at him. Why is he so mad at him? What kind of stupid question is that? One that Rain would ask of course. He should expect that.]
Do you want P'Payu?
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Of course I want P'Payu...
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[For a moment, Sky falls quiet. He can't even look at Rain. But when he speaks up again, his voice is quiet. Is there a pained quality to it? Well, he's not going to admit to anything really.]
Rain, P'Payu is probably a better person than I am. I bet he'll forgive you when you tell him what happened. I don't think I ever could if you'd done this to me.
[His hand rubs his arm a moment before he stills himself, refusing to show weakness.]
You can't just go chasing after other people. Got that?
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[ rain just watches sky, waiting for his friend to say something else, wondering if maybe he should be saying something (or will that just get him into more trouble??). he opts for silence. for once, he chooses to say nothing.
he can't help but wince, though, when sky finally speaks again, and he once again averts his eyes. he wants to say that he would never have done something like that to sky, but he also thought he'd never do anything like that to payu. payu is his perfect boyfriend. his wonderful boyfriend. the love of his life and the man he wouldn't mind being with forever. so how could he possibly say for sure that he wouldn't do the same to sky ]
I wasn't chasing anyone though.
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[He looks away again. In his heart he knows this was a mistake, that Rain isn't like this. That it has to be something more. It has to right? A deep breath and he looks back to Rain.]
Don't move. Tell me exactly what happened again. From the start. And don't tell me how wonderful it was this time.
[Because it hurts feeling like he might not be able to believe in his friend. He...he can't lose that belief he has.]
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[ throw himself at simon. but that's not what sky wants to hear. especially because, from an outside perspective, it probably looks exactly that way. it probably looks just like he selfishly threw himself at simon with no thought for anyone else he might hurt in the process. that isn't what it was, though. rain is certain of it. it just sort of... happened. no throwing at all ]
When can I put my arms down? [ less important. but his arms are already starting to ache and his knees hurt ]
Okay, so I heard about this bar in Gion - some uki bar or something - and I decided to go because I figured if we might be here a while, it'd probably be worth it to see what there is to do here right? I thought maybe I could meet some people too. I thought you might not hate it if I made a few new friends. [ maybe not the time for a mild dig at his friend ] I didn't really intend on drinking at all, but the beers just looked really good so I decided to get one. And then more than one. I ran into Simon there and because he was the only one I knew, I started talking to him. After a while, we ended up in one of those private rooms. I didn't chase him and he didn't chase me. We just... We ended up in a private room together and, well, you know the rest.
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[So definitely not yet. He chews on nothing really but maybe it's just the information. Still, he listens to all of it and he notes something important that he's missed before. Or actually he's pretty sure that Rain didn't tell him that part. But he does remember hearing about uki. It's not something he'd been familiar with so he'd looked it up and...
His eyes narrow.
Sky leans forward now. And he'll let the dig slide. For now.]
You went to an uki bar?
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